tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post760670959449781517..comments2024-01-21T17:20:36.077-06:00Comments on Foster Parent Rescue: Great Conversations: On RAD Kids and Introverted Tantrums: Trying the Whistle TechniqueUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-12733453350084909052012-08-01T09:59:38.445-05:002012-08-01T09:59:38.445-05:00You definitely analyzed it correctly. The RAD kid ...You definitely analyzed it correctly. The RAD kid is controlling you and is upset with you. To deal with the situation is to make the 13 year old clean up her own mess when she pees all over the room (see blog post; Why is My Foster or Adopted Kid Urinating in The Closet (in a Jar, Towel, Hamper, Soda Can): The Red (or Yellow in this Case) Flag and How to Deal with It.- June 14th )<br />You must also, not in an angry voice, but in a passionate voice, explain to them that you understand what they are doing, and that you accept what they are doing, but that the child is hurting you, so, say, “I understand that you are peeing in the bathroom and are trying to get my attention because you love me and you love my attention, but you are hurting me and you make it so I cant like you when you are doing these things. I am sorry that this has happened to you and you feel cheated and there’s nothing I can do about this, but you can do something about this. You can allow me to love you and like you again by helping Mom and being a helper.” Give her things to do that will make her feel important in the family unit. Lastly, if this doesn’t work, lock the bathroom door, lock the bedroom doors, and make her start asking permission to enter the rooms. This is a tough approach, but the RAD child is already 13 so you are running out of time to make a difference. You have to make her feel important or you run the risk of her harming the younger children.<br />Please feel free to message me if I can help in any other way. <br />John and Diane = FPRGypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-53654237133131443622012-08-01T01:22:18.316-05:002012-08-01T01:22:18.316-05:00But, what do you do when your RAD child takes deli...But, what do you do when your RAD child takes delight in hurting your other children. She loves to be friendly and then get a little bit of their trust so she can then hurt them? What do you do when they take delight in pulling your care taking attention from the younger children to themselves? The adopted one at age thirteen pees all over the bathroom floor when I try to tend to the needs of a sick seven year old, desperately trying to be sure that I don't tend to anyone but her. Her bullying and controlling behavior seems so sinister. She has been with us for three years. I finally understood what she was doing, making the other children orphans in my own home with all these tactics. HELP.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com