tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post7790328340784502920..comments2024-01-21T17:20:36.077-06:00Comments on Foster Parent Rescue: Foster Parent Q&A: Help! My RAD Child Needs a Door Alarm, but Then Pees in his Room!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-63502017054236417762017-05-08T14:34:15.929-05:002017-05-08T14:34:15.929-05:00Hi friend,
Did you read : http://fosterparentresc...Hi friend, <br />Did you read : http://fosterparentrescue.blogspot.com/2012/06/why-is-my-foster-or-adopted-kid.html (Why is My Foster Kid Peeing in the Closet)? <br />It sounds like you have already taken some of the advice we would normally give, and are having issues still. <br />Usually this happens when the child is under stress or is still dealing with some issue from prior to adoption. The Territorial aspect of it is obvious - ... Here's my suggestion:<br />1. How is his relationship with his siblings? Build a stronger family unit amongst the kids by lots of outdoor team play. Build up his self-esteem,and create a stronger bond with his siblings should reduce his attack on their belongings and build his empathy for how his behavior is affecting other members of the family. <br />2. Continue looking for the source of the behavior. Is there a sexual abuse history? That could be the cause of the behavior initially, and now that he is reaching puberty perhaps this could create conflicted emotions - which results in this Anxiety-Reducing urination behavior. <br />3. Keep him busy and out of the bedrooms during non-sleeping hours. Limiting his freedom to go into his or others rooms and keeping him busy with Active, Physical Play will help to break the habit of this behavior, and give him something physically tiring to do that can also help build his social skills - Getting him around other boys his age on a team of some kind (or boy scouts) will help him model more "normal" bathroom routines.<br />Hang in there Anony... There are a TON of other parents dealing with this exact thing - You are doing great!! Let us know how he does in a few months.GypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-38243479758634310612017-05-08T12:55:02.056-05:002017-05-08T12:55:02.056-05:00I know these are older posts but I have a 14 year ...I know these are older posts but I have a 14 year old who is adopted (at age 5) and has been peeing on things for the last few years. He prefers to steal things from siblings to pee on such as jeans, toys etc. Cleaning excites him more because he loves to clean. He is in therapy (regular visits to the home 2-3 times a week) and they suggested I give him a box with a pair of jeans in it to pee in without consequences. He was responsible for cleaning it up daily. Well I did this and he stopped for 2 weeks but last weekend he went back to peeing but on everything of his siblings and of his except in the box. I am at wits end. I don't think we should have to live with locked doors every where to prevent him from having easy access to our stuff so he can pee on it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-45762216619372055242013-10-11T14:25:32.645-05:002013-10-11T14:25:32.645-05:00Here's the other link: http://fosterparentresc...Here's the other link: http://fosterparentrescue.blogspot.com/2012/06/why-is-my-foster-or-adopted-kid.htmlGypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-27029295651383632002013-10-11T14:24:22.425-05:002013-10-11T14:24:22.425-05:00Hi Indefamily, Thanks for commenting. Check out th...Hi Indefamily, Thanks for commenting. Check out these links and see if there is anything in there that might be helpful... <br />http://fosterparentrescue.blogspot.com/2012/05/why-are-her-pants-wet-but-her-bed-isnt.htmlGypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-60590367478519566622013-10-10T19:02:41.168-05:002013-10-10T19:02:41.168-05:00We have the same problem with our almost adopted 1...We have the same problem with our almost adopted 10 year old. He pees in his closet at least once per week, and he has an alarm on his door due to sexual acting out behaviors. I think that he is afraid to set the alarm off at night even though we have encouraged him to do so many times. When he does pee, he of course, denies it vehemently, and we make him respnsible for cleaning up the mess. Maybe an alarm that sounds at a remote location would be worth a try. I like the idea of the camera, so that we could show him the footage when he denies it. Thanks for the ideas! This, along with soiling himslef on an almost daily basis are the behaviors that exhaust us the most.Indefamilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16734101796612153159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-37716630016794296722013-09-29T10:20:33.270-05:002013-09-29T10:20:33.270-05:00Thanks Sherri, Thats a great referral for people a...Thanks Sherri, Thats a great referral for people and might be a helpful resource for some folks. Even though this is an older post, it still gets plenty of reads, so, I appreciate you taking the time to share your story and your find. GypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-41729174097289947532013-09-28T16:10:42.957-05:002013-09-28T16:10:42.957-05:00I realize this post is a few months old but I came...I realize this post is a few months old but I came across it in a recent search about door alarms and RAD kids. I read another blog post elsewhere today about this same problem and the author mentioned finding success by using an alarm / alert system that is intended for wandering Alzheimer's patients. The advantage here is that there is no audible alarm on the child's door; there is a motion sensor that sounds an alarm on the caregiver's end but the child never realizes an alarm has been "set off". Since the child doesn't ever realize an alarm has been sounded, the caregiver can be notified, can then check to see if it's a 'legit' excursion (bathroom vs. kitchen raiding) and respond appropriately and the alarm itself does not become a game or something the child feels they must "defeat" or learn to work around. This makes a lot of sense to me especially when dealing with older RAD kids who will obviously figure out in a short time how to turn an alarm off if they are aware of one being used. <br /><br />Anyway, it is something we are going to try with regard to our 10 year old's nighttime kitchen raiding and I thought I'd share in case it might help someone else. We simply cannot AFFORD to continue to allow her food hoarding / unauthorized binge sessions / food waste to continue as there are other people in the house who need to eat!<br /><br />The specific monitor and alert system mentioned on the other blog is by a company called Mr. Chime, Inc. It seems to be a bit pricey but I think it will be useful for us for years to come. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17219092518344897546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-43097016539936383282013-07-29T20:15:35.097-05:002013-07-29T20:15:35.097-05:00Thanks for your comment Natausha, you have some go...Thanks for your comment Natausha, you have some good points. For a child without an attachment disorder, an approach like this might work, as the food forays would be more a comfort thing than a control issue.<br />With a reactive-attachment disorder child, most of the time the behavior is a symptom with complex layers, not the least of which would be manipulating the family dynamics, in which case, providing him with a basket of snacks would be allowing his bad behavior to be rewarded and instead of providing comfort which would lead to a decrease in need, it would provide power which would lead to an increase in bad behavior.<br />The other concern here is the nighttime wandering with other younger siblings in the home. This can be a concern depending on the history of the child. <br />In any case, We appreciate your input, we always have to remember how very complex these cases are and try to approach our suggestions and solution ideas with empathy. GypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-91901397439123634722013-07-29T17:51:10.214-05:002013-07-29T17:51:10.214-05:00First let me start by saying, that food hoarding i...First let me start by saying, that food hoarding is a type of way children feel some comfort and control over their environment. How can you accuse a child of "stealing" food? I for one think that is absurd. <br /><br />However, if the alarm is the problem, REMOVE IT!!! It sounds as if you are in a power struggle and you are doing more harm than good with the alarm.<br /><br />My suggestion would be to remove the alarm, and before bedtime each night give the child a little basket. Allow him to pack some bedtime snacks in it. <br /><br />Allow him to keep them in his room and ensure him that he may eat them at ANY TIME! He does NOT have to give them back in the morning. <br /><br />You will see the pantry raids decrease, and with the removal of the alarm I would hope he would not be as fearful of going to the bathroom. (you mentioned yourself that the peeing issue has worsened since the alarm installation)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13104265348645604094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-22989297936612681652012-09-26T17:10:22.666-05:002012-09-26T17:10:22.666-05:00Thanks for your input KT! We appreciate you taking...Thanks for your input KT! We appreciate you taking the time to help.GypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-59563721750008746342012-09-26T11:22:40.412-05:002012-09-26T11:22:40.412-05:00I had boy/girl twins who had extreme bathroom issu...I had boy/girl twins who had extreme bathroom issues........I never did find a good solution. They found a way around every type of deterrent...... Knowing you are in good company is all I can offer. :)<br />You must listen to this one mom's awesome pee video song.....she has incredible parenting tips videos, blogs and website...well worth the time.<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYcMgFrHUT8&feature=player_embedded#!<br /><br />http://www.radwars.org/wipers.html and this is my web~page on the issue with advice from other moms.KThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12193633882871557722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-62863077109947336952012-09-24T14:43:33.499-05:002012-09-24T14:43:33.499-05:00Yes, good clarification GabrielaYes, good clarification GabrielaGypsyDihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068955479131509850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5872575145321897807.post-18883202661371325512012-09-24T13:18:59.055-05:002012-09-24T13:18:59.055-05:00I don't have a suggestion, but I wanted to say...I don't have a suggestion, but I wanted to say that your own suggestion does sound very good. If the alarm was put on the pantry, then the problem is specific to the hoarding issue, "you steal food, the alarm comes off, you replace it with your allowance". The camera in the bedroom becomes more specific to the peeing, "if you pee on your bed, we see it on camera, you clean it all". With the strategies being more specific, that could help him to see it more clearly too. Less generalization and more specification.Gabriela Rodlihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07191586527191642853noreply@blogger.com