by John and Diane.
 |
| Shifting eyes is a sign that someone is lying. |
A recent article in US News and World Report talks about a
study done at the University of Notre Dame in Indiana about the connection
between lying and health.
The study found that adults tell an average of 11 lies a
week, about 1 or 2 a day and that all these little white lies can add up to
minor health issues like headaches, sore throats, sadness and stress.
Over time, it is theorized, that the cumulative effects
could include heart issues, high blood pressure, stomach or digestive disorders
and muscular tension.
In the study, they asked participants to stop lying during
the designated time period, and found that health complaints decreased,
supporting the hypothesis that by telling the truth, your health, as well as
your relationships will improve.
What does this mean
for foster kids who lie?
Well, once you get to know your foster or adopted children
over a period of time, you can usually tell when they are lying. “Tells” like
looking away, shifting eyes, mumbling words, crossing the arms in front of the
body, or nodding the head to contradict speech (so, if the child is saying yes, but nodding no) can all
mean the child is lying, in which case you can attempt to correct the behavior
and cut off the stress of perpetrating and continuing the lie.
If your child starts exhibiting symptoms such as an upset
stomach, stress, avoidance behavior such as not wanting to go to school (if
it’s a behavior that is out of the ordinary for the child), tearfulness, peeing
in his or her room or closet, change in appetite or other physical reaction to
stress, this may be a signal to you to communicate with the child to determine
if the child is hiding a secret or protecting a lie. Once the root of the
problem is discovered, you can point to the physical symptoms the child has
suffered from and remind them that the suffering was needless if they had been
truthful.
RAD Kids or Kids with Attachment Disorders
However, some children are more focused and savvy, and are
able to tell a lie without showing a guilty conscience. Children with a
reactive detachment disorder or significant psychological disorders are able to lie
effectively without any feelings of guilt or remorse.
These children, common sense would tell us, would not feel
any physical symptoms from telling lies, but more likely may feel stress and
other physical ailments when the lies are confronted and their manipulative and
lying behavior is exposed.
Overtime, if exposure is continuous and if the behavior and
attachment disorder does not improve, the child may experience effects. Once the child reaches adulthood
however, lies and deception are easier to maintain and the stress level may
decrease as the person begins to live independently.
Need help with kids who lie? You can refer to our posts for
help in addressing lying behavior with your foster kids. Check out: White Lies or Story Embellishment: Is there a Difference to a Child Who Lies? and Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire: The Three Kinds of Liars and How to Stop Them
Resources:
image: Flickr: License
