Rules and Habits to Guide Foster Care Parents and Care Centers (Guest Post)

Hi Friends, We received this request to guest post from Capstone Foster Care Agency in the UK and are happy to share their Rules and Habits to Guide Foster Care Parents and Care Centers.  Enjoy.

(Guest Post by Capstone Foster Carers- UK)

Devising some life rules and forming a habit of adhering to them can increase chances of taking better care to a child under foster care. Foster Care parents are usually busy with other duties: they have their own children to care for, work to attend to, and other chores. Under these circumstances, it is easy to assume some things and neglect children under foster care. Forming and adhering to those rules helps the child like the parent and the home care center. Here are some of the rules that a foster parent or a child care center might consider:

1. Ensure that you supply all needs to the child: Many foster parents assume that they already know what a child under foster care would need. Unfortunately, many end up supplying food, education, shelter, clothing and think that everything is under control. While these are paramount in the growth and development of the kid under care, parents must understand that these children need someone to supply for their emotional needs.  One of the major problems affecting children put under such care is lack of someone to supply for their emotional needs. Some of the foster care agencies like Capstone fostering which are rated “Outstanding” by OFSTED understand emotional needs of every child and they try to help children rebuild their lives.

In fact, neglected children have no one to show them love and many harbor bitterness for that reason. They have emotional development problems because of lack of someone to show them love. Many become aggressive and lack self control because they were never shown love. Showing them love, teaching them about love and training them to believe in God's supernatural love should be seen as a basic necessity for these children.

These children also suffer from inner insecurity, and foster parents and guides must ensure that they are closer to these children all the time, in order to allow for normal emotional and psychological development. Having suffered dishonesty and distrust at the arms of the people they loved most, these children must be trained on how to trust themselves and others. They must be shown by examples how to tell the truth and be honest. In fact, positive behavior can be reinforced on the children by supplying all their emotional needs. Children must also be trained on positive behavior and rational problem solving.

2. Parents should let the child know that they (parents) are in control: This should be done carefully and not by stamping authority on the child by such methods as thorough punishment which makes the child rebel, develop hatred or bitterness. It begins with letting them know the role of the parent in anything undertaken. Parents and guardians must work with children to show them by example that they are in control of everything.

Parents and care centers must also develop in-house rules that the children must be taught to obey, and being advised when they violate these rules. Parents and care centers must enforce these rules because rules are a crucial part in development of positive and acceptable behavior. 

3. Parents should understand their strengths and weaknesses: Parents and guardians must understand their emotional, physical and psychological or other weaknesses and limitations in order to determine how they can control themselves while handling the child. For instance, parents who are of high temper must understand when to tell their spouse to help them in handling the child to avoid overreacting, which could negatively influence child behavior. Foster parents must also forget bitter past experiences they had with the child and never to refer to these bitter experiences in a negative way in the future.

4. Develop good habits to show the child and lead by example: This is by adopting minor positive habits such as smiling while talking to the child. It also includes showing the children positive habits such as hard work and teaching them fruits of hard work. The parents must avoid using sarcasm, which is neither positive nor negative, but creates hard situations for the child to make friends in the later life.

5. Foster Parents should treat these children as their own and encourage group activities: Neglecting the child might begin with a notion that he/she does not belong to the family. Parents should treat these children as their own in any way, ranging from when providing for them to advising and reprimanding them. Joint family activities could include joint picnics and praying together.

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