Why Kids that Hug Everyone Trust No One

I was reminded recently about the contradiction (one of many) that trust disordered kids present. Many kids with detachment disorders and trust issue present themselves as overly affectionate. Like stray puppies almost, they will run up to you and hug you, hug complete strangers, and seek out affection. Those who don’t understand the disorder don’t really understand how this child might be troubled when they seem so loving and charming.

Some people think its sweet, that they are seeking out love and affection, but really, they can do this because they don’t trust people, they don’t really know what love is, but what they Do understand, even at very, very young ages, is manipulation.

Children as young as 4 and 5 can see that giving hugs makes people happy, and that by showing affection, they can then get what they want, like that extra cookie, or allowance. They use the show of affection without guilt because they are not “attached” and therefore, the affection itself means nothing to them.

They are some of the most challenging and frustrating kids to deal with in foster-care because you want so badly to help them, so that they can lead a healthy and normal life. A life with real love in it. Luckily, love can always be given, even if it can’t always be received.

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